Health and fitness journey

 I have always been a curvier person. I hit puberty early, which led to having more in places where most girls had less. I will never forget the hurtful thing one boy in 4th grade said to me. We were all in a Christmas assembly and some students were singing a song about how Santa Claus was fat. This tall boy leans over and whispers loudly that they shouldn't be singing about Santa but should be singing about Courtney Douglass. I was crushed. I hadn't hit puberty yet so I was still a little kid with lithe limbs and lean muscles. But that comment shaped so much of my self image. I know now that he was wrong, I know he wasn't serious. But that doesn't change the fact that it hurt. 

I had to work harder than other girls my age to stay fit. In 9th grade I got down to 112 pounds. I was so happy that other girls were telling me I was too skinny. And a part of me wants to be back there. According to medical charts and measurements, as a 5 foot 2 inch tall woman, I should be thinner.  But here's the thing..... I have boobs. I have a butt and hips. I've got thick thighs and calves. I've always had them. However even when I was at a healthy weight, I always seemed to be right on the verge of being overweight. 

Well right now, I am overweight. I have been for a few years. And I have been slowly removing the weight I've gained. The difference now? I want to do this in a safe and healthy way. I don't want a quick fix. Those don't last. I want to be able to run around with my daughter. i want to be able to look in the mirror and not see a stranger staring back. 

This is going to be a process and it's going to be worth it.